The Attack Of The Killer TRAFFIC!

“An episode in The chronicles of InterNARNIA - The Launch, The Traffic and The Conversion.”

“Edmund… EDMUND!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” (for the rest of the story… read on!)

It was a peaceful day in the world of Internet Marketing.

Edmund was preparing a farewell party aboard the PLR mothership - the renowned PLR Extraordinaire was busy preparing for his final PLRGOLD5 Launch! It was like a tearful farewell party for Edmund and we were all sad to see him go…

He has thrown a huge party all over the Internet marketing world and he has invited hundreds of friends and Internet marketing JV strangers to join the party.

Everything was going well. All the guests received their invitations. We were all prepared for the moment of the launch. Everyone was ready to have a good time when suddenly…

RRRRRNNNRRRHHHHH!!!!!

It was the attack of the killer traffic!

Traffic was ’swarming’ in like bees going for honey!

Admiral EDMUND: Everyone, to your battle stations! I’m calling Reinforcements!

Captain Khai: Aye, aye, Captain!

Admiral EDMUND: Activate the Deflector Shields! We’ve got a situation in our hands, gentleman! Our servers are under attack! They are after the PLR mothership! Prepare your defenses… this may be our most critical mission!

Captain Khai: SIR! TOO MUCH Traffic is flanking our battle formations, we’ve replenished our servers with fresh supplies and it wasn’t enough!

Admiral EDMUND: The enemy is heading straight for the CORE - where the stash of 40 PLR packages are stored. Dammit! I knew we should’ve got more servers and kept the traffic at bay!

Captain Khai: Our men are going down, the enemy has breached the main hull! Our servers can’t take much more of this punishment!

Admiral EDMUND: Our servers have hit critical damage! We’re going down! NOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOOO!!!

Captain Khai: Edmund… EDMUND!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! SPEAK TO ME!!!

Admiral Edmund: Cough COUGH! Wheeze! I’m (cough) ok! The server’s (cough) DOWN! We can’t process the sales! The traffic’s gonna tear the place apart if we don’t FIX THE ‘ORDER NOW’ BUTTON!

Captain Khai: “Hang in there, Admiral! I’ll divert some of the traffic to my BONUS PAGE and hold the traffic at bay while our techies repair the damage!

(HELP ARRIVES!)

It’s General VINCE TAN to the RESCUE! And he’s brought reinforcements to fix the servers! Frank Bauer reporting for duty!

He’s Got JAMES BROWN AS WELL!

And Aurelius Tjin to the RESCUE!

General Vince: Admiral Edmund, it’s our pleasure to be of service. Please return to your stations while my men and I deal with the damage and fix the problems.

Admiral Edmund: Thank God you guys’ve arrived! The traffic crippled our servers! There was too much traffic because all the 400++ JV partners told their mailing lists to get PLR products here!

General Vince: Leave it to us, gentleman. We can deal with our own traffic as well and as soon as the server is up and running, we will be able to resume our operations. After all, we can’t let anything happen to you, admiral… Who’s going to pay our affiliate commissions?

(2 hours later… everything was back to normal)

Admiral Edmund: Captain Khai, you fought well in battle… I’m proud of you.

Captain Khai: At Your Service, SIR!

Admiral Edmund: You did a good job diverting traffic to your EXCELLENT bonus pages. It minimized some of the damage as well and CONVERTED some of the traffic. You’re a good soldier and you will be awarded a permanent link in the PLRGOLD5 hall of fame! Inspite of the MASSIVE traffic swarming our servers, we managed to keep them at bay and made lots of money in the process. Good JOB, soldier!

Captain Khai: Thank You! SIR!

(And so ends another day in the chronicles of InterNARNIA - The Launch, The Traffic and The Conversion. The servers went back to normal and traffic everywhere once again had access to powerful PLR products. Our heroic marketers triumped and rode off into the virtual sunset!)

The End??

Technorati tags: The battle of the PLR traffic, Traffic Swarming, Server down, Khai’s PLRGOLD5 Bonuses, Final PLR launch